Double Me

super cool camera techniques,
by the one and only

Rach the Great

Nerding Much?

I don't think so,
Paik Yen

Oh no.

Brunswick
Milk! hope you are a good swimmer.

Where Are You?

Reply, my correspondent, as to inform me of your continuing existence on Earth?

The Scholars were Right

As much as I felt restless and uncontrollably sleepy every Psychology lecture, the science of it all reveals itself so evident with no need for scientific experimentation.

Stages of development of children; their attitudes and behaviours. It is as if I have been watching a scripted theatre show, starring my little cousins. Dichotic listening; the cocktail party phenomenon.

Dreams that haunt while I sleep; the manifestation of desires, considered painful or guilt inducing, being suppressed into the subconscious.
I dreamt last night. My mind thought it so real and tangible. But it CAN’T be. This Freudian theory I consider unpalatable.

Why I Love Exam Periods

pyjamas all day

peace and quiet

sandwiches are banned
hour-long lunch breaks with korean drama hotties
serious case of disuse atrophy means weight loss (of the muscle kind, better than nothing)

frosty outside, warm and cozy inside

Tough Love

long-distance is hard. take care, my baby. i love you

MJ is back

Don't Get Me Wrong

i am not holding any of this against you. because i know that all of this is my own doing.

i threw away the diary that i kept. the one that accounted for the all-too-few days i had spent with you. there weren't many significant moments, but i insisted on remembering every single detail. then again, they might not have meant anything to you.

maybe one day i can let go of all the messages.

Over-ambitious

i started off optimistic. though i knew we were going to be like cis-trans isomers, with the same attachment of atoms but different arrangements in space, i held on to the fact that this could be reversed, easily. i thought i had the power to influence, to change.

everyone else said that it could never be you. impossible, ridiculous. Change must come from within, not done by an external party, marcus said. But i continued to believe that i could. naive and stupid, yes i know.

and so this round has become another statistic. once was not enough, twice the same, three times; i don't want history to repeat itself again. adrian thinks it's because of a 'maternal instinct'? this feeling is not one of mutual respect, but one of 'yes, i think i can offer some help to him, to get him out of whatever shit he is in.' i narrowed my vision, seeing only the potential that could be reached, and neglected what was clearly visible to everyone else. stupid, i know.

i should be picking up whatever motherly love i have got left and saving them for my children in the future. before i do that, allow me a little more time to indulge in my own stupidity. whether or not i ever see you again, i want to wish you all the best in whatever you want to achieve. i hope that one day we will meet, and i won't regret not telling you, that i loved you, whatever that word means.


this post has been a long time coming. should have been resolved earlier, but i didn't what to admit defeat. thanks to paik yen for freeing me of all this. about time i officially let it go.